RULING OUT TERRORISM

NEW IMPROVED FBI is in fit fighting form, again, and sticking with what it knows best—ruling out terrorism. Now involved in the theft of a car after it was found in Los Lunas, New Mexico, with an explosive device and Iraqi currency inside FBI agents say that they have ruled out terrorism in the case. The car was reported stolen last week.

After the theft, coincidentally, the car’s owner was fueling his motorcycle when he spotted his stolen car. He walked over to it, pulled the keys out of the ignition, prompting the men in the car to flee. When police arrived, they found the explosive device and less than $1,000 worth of Iraqi cash.

“We don’t know what their intentions were,” said said Los Lunas Police Captain Charles Nuanes. “We don’t know what they were planning on doing with any of this.”

Uh, the owner's keys were in the ignition?

Lurking around the website called The National Terror Alert Response Center. Just read about the continuing spate of bizzare events that have been going on nationwide that are quietly dismissed by the media (at the behest of the Federal Government, no doubt).

Stolen car found in New Mexico today with Iraqi currency and a bomb. Yet our dearly beloved FBI is saying they've ruled out terrorism. In other words, bin Laden's signature is not on it.

Huge underground explosion near LAX yesterday killed 1 firefighter. Must not frighten our liberal southern Californians.

Bomb squad called Tuesday for suspicious package in Pullman, Washington, but as of this morning there is no follow up on story. Must protect the Muslims in this country from any potential backlash, I suppose.

On Monday, the Union Pacific Railroad had to call out the bomb squad when unidentified males took off from the railyard after being spotted, leaving behind what appeared to be a battery with wires attached.

Federal officers searching a suspicious pickup truck near the U.S. Capitol in January missed an explosive device that remained undetected behind the seat for three weeks, officials said yesterday. Michael S. Gorbey, who was initially detained for carrying a loaded shotgun near the Capitol, is now facing charges of planning to set off a bomb, according to an indictment filed in D.C. Superior Court. U.S. Capitol Police are investigating how their top-rated bomb squad failed to spot the hazardous device.

All this leads us to the question of the day. Just what is the working definition of terrorism in America '08? But hey, one thing is certain, our nation's first responders have ruled out terrrorism. Go back to sleep now.