DUTY TO ONE'S NEIGHBORS

Think of the words "Muslim community" and what do you see? A succession of veiled women walking silently behind their husbands? Bearded men gesticulating outside mosques? But there is another version of the Muslim community other than the radical one in the West.

It is easy to dismiss Muslim parents as old-fashioned and traditional, but when the rest of the world is busy wondering how to respond to a culture of rampant disrespect, it is worth considering whether we can learn from Muslim values. Muslim children are more likely to be brought up in two-parent families rather than the single-parent households that are increasingly common in Britain or the US.

Muslim parents also tend to be less interested in child-centered parenting and more into parent-centered parenting. For example, when I was growing up there was no possibility of answering back to my parents, and this was accompanied by an all-pervasive fear of letting them down. This was a model of parenting that put great faith in deference, while at the time it felt regressive, it was also what kept my generation in check.

Amid calls that Muslims learn to integrate into their adopted cultures a bit better than most have to date, Muslims in Europe and America are always suggesting that their own sense of family values makes their "religion" superior to those of the West.

Yes, it's wonderful to have a close extended family. Family is one of the foundations of society. The breakdown of the family has led to many tragedies in Europe and America, but that doesn't give Muslims carte blance to insist on sharia law, or many of the traditions of Islam. Families are also a part of a larger community and each member has a duty toward others who are not of their tribe or faith.

Even insular communities have a duty to others. The Amish live differently from many Americans, but they obey the traffic laws and pay their taxes, just like everyone else. Muslims cannot expect to escape their own responsibilities toward others in the community.